Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
