I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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