spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
