i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
