she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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