Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
