how can u be prego again
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize