Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
