I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
