I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
