i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
