He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
