Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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