do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
