did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
