Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
