Already got asked if we're dating
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
