dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
