We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
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