i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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