hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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