She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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