I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
