Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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