my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
