she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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