You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
