good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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