Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
