Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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