What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
