oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
