why didn't you poke me back
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
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