I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
