I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
