Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Iām not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
