Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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