i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
