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Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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