you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
