Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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