Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
