all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it's like iHOP with fire
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
