we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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