There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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