lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
