I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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