It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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