my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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