yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize