I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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