I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
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took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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