the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize