He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
