The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
