just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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