She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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