Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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