Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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